Last
week we took a family vacation to Florida.
We had a really fun time. It was
all five of us plus Morganne’s boyfriend she’s been seeing for 10 months,
James. He’s an amazing boyfriend for
her. He fits right in with all the
Alexander family dysfunction yet brings no dysfunction of his own to the
tribe. He never complains and is always
just so easy going.
The
first four days of the vacation were wonderful. There was typical Florida
weather (hot but not too hot with the gulf breeze blowing), sugary white sand,
and beautiful ocean waves. On the
downside, for some reason, there were lots and lots of jellyfish. I had never seen a jellyfish in person
before, but I spotted several and one wayward jellyfish actually stung Morganne.
It left a pretty nasty mark on her leg and severe pain for quite awhile. If you’ve ever seen the “Friends” episode
where the jellyfish stung Monica and Joey peed on her leg to ease the pain, we
did contemplate whether or not someone should relieve himself or herself upon
poor Morganne’s leg. After researching
the issue on numerous iPhones, we found that vinegar or salt water are probably
better options to ease the pain. The
urine might work depending upon how well hydrated the urinator was (the less
hydrated, probably the better according to our 5 independent iPhone
researchers.) Another factor with the
urine is that although urine itself is sterile, it would have to pass through
someone’s urethra to get to her leg.
Urethra, apparently, are often filled with bacteria which render the
urine non-sterile and might cause a nasty infection. In the end, we didn’t use urine or saltwater
or vinegar. We just gave her some
ibuprofen and went out for a large carby dinner and she was much better the
next day.
After
day 4 of the vacation, things went way downhill with the weather. In Florida, it rains a little a lot of the
time. It will cloud up and rain for 30
minutes or so and then the sun will come back out. So on day 5, it started raining. Not a typical Florida rain, but drenching
down pouring rain almost continuously.
It continued for 3 days and there really wasn’t much to do. The traffic was horrible and it was difficult
to get anywhere because everyone was trying to go to all the same places. A trip to the outlet mall that had taken us
30 minutes a few days before, took us over 2 hours with the traffic. Highways looked more like parking lots. We finally just gave up and came home a day
early due to the continued rainy forecast.
We
got home last night and today my biggest baby girl moved out of the house. We’ve known for months she was moving in July,
but like the vacation, it was a very bittersweet day in my life. I can’t believe she is old enough to leave
home. She’s not going too far, just to
an apartment in Fayetteville with a friend.
She is transferring from NWACC to U of A in the fall. I am excited for her, scared for her, and sad
for me. Bittersweetness. I know she will be fine, but in the back of my mind I
constantly wonder what things I have forgotten to teach her or tell her, what
motherly wisdom have I failed to impart upon this precious child of mine? I guess we shall soon find out.
My
hope is that she will learn many useful lessons and embark upon fabulous
endeavors. Funds will be an issue so I
guess the endeavors she embarks upon will be somewhat less than fabulous, but I
hope she has fun while keeping her grace, honor, sense and sensibility. She works about 30 hours a week as a pharmacy
technician. Her father and I will
contribute some to her expenses, paying the portion of her tuition that the
lottery scholarship doesn’t cover and such.
By the way, if you ever buy lottery tickets in the state of Arkansas,
thank you so much for funding my daughter’s higher education! Personally, I
have never bought one, but I appreciate those who do. It helps me a lot.
I
think back to when I was her age. I can
remember thinking I knew so much of the world, but have realized throughout my
life I actually knew very little. I
never lived on my own, never had the away from home college experience. I’m sure it’s a great experience, but it
wasn’t what I chose. I think if I had
gone that route, I would have failed due to my extreme lack of self-confidence
at that age. I am of the opinion we (society, high schools,
parents) push youngsters into believing the away from home straight after high
school is the type of experience they have to want in order to be “correct” or
succeed past high school. In fact, when
Morganne was in 9th grade, she mentioned to her BHS counselor she
wanted to go to community college. The
conversation that followed was not pleasant.
The counselor told her basically that she should have higher aspirations
for herself and that community college isn’t real college. As a disclaimer here, I’m in no way saying
the kids who earn a gazillion dollars in scholarships based on their above
average intelligence and all those advanced placement classes they took
shouldn’t be off to college. Of course
they should! I’m just saying maybe
somewhere out there it should be acceptable for kids to choose something
else. In fact, it should be encouraged
for some. Some kids should go to
community college for a year or two. I’m
so thankful Morganne had the wisdom to want to be home another year. Some kids are ready for the away from home
experience at that age and do fabulously.
Some are not ready for one reason or another and fail. I’m extremely happy with the choice she made
to stay home for a year and think she made a decision that showed maturity and
wisdom past her years.
Being
our first-born child, she was of course “an experiment.” She was planned and dreamed of. I read the What to Expect When You’re
Expecting book cover to cover. I
then referenced back to it the whole time I was pregnant. Unfortunately, the labor, the childbirth, the
infancy stage was nothing like the book had said it would be. That’s a story of
its own, but I sought and took advice from all the parenting experts- Dr.
Spock, Dr. Sears, etc. The hospital told me to wake her up every three hours at
night to feed her to prevent jaundice, so that’s what I did. Imagine my dismay when I had to fight to stay
awake and fight to keep her awake in the middle of the night to feed her for
several nights and then----she got jaundice anyway. I
subscribed to Parents magazine. I faithfully took her to all the advised
doctor appointments. I dressed her in
ridiculous ruffled dresses. I soon
learned though that Morganne Paige Alexander was her own unique person and
didn’t fit into any of the prescribed models.
She is a delightful person who has difficulties in math, but excels in
language and reading. She has an excellent memory. She makes up songs and stories. She talks to herself in the shower (we used
to say she was going to her “meeting” when she took a shower because within a
few minutes she would be in intense conversation with herself.) You could never quite make out what she was
saying, but no doubt it was of high importance.
She has a messy room and a messy
car, but will go out of her way to help someone she cares about. She is more like her dad than me. As far as raising children goes, she has been
a fairly easy one.
So
to my darling daughter, I love you. I
miss you already. Although you probably
won’t ever want to and I hope you never have to, you’re always welcome to move
back home. One piece of advice I can
offer you is to choose being kind over being right, but (as your dad would say)
never allow your kindness to be mistaken for weakness. Godspeed, my love. Life is a bittersweet symphony, but you
already knew that.
