After the breakup, another boy (let's just call him "John" to protect his anonymity) began texting her and they mutually decided they would like to go out on a date. A few days before the date was scheduled to occur, John texted her at the last minute and asked if she would like to come to a barbecue at his house (he's 20 and lives with his parents.) She was without plans for the evening and decided to attend the barbecue. She was very excited at the prospect of meeting his parents. That's the kind of kid she is, she's a parent meeter. She started dating a little later than most (which is perfectly fine with me) and she always brings her male friends over to meet us after a date or two. We don't demand it, but of course, appreciate it. We've met a total of 3 boys.
Morganne arrived at the home of John and his parents (let's just call them Mr. and Mrs. Righteous.) Mr. Righteous immediately questioned her concerning the year model of her car. It's actually a 2011 - yes, my kid has a nearly new car. A lot of thought and consideration went into the purchase of that car, but in the end when the 1999 model car she was driving needed more work than it was actually worth, we opted for the purchase of the new car. Maybe I'll write another blog about that purchase someday, but for now, dear reader, please just without judgement accept that my daughter drives a 2011 car (for which she pays a portion of each month out of her earnings from her job she has had for 2.5 years at the movie theater where she is now a supervisor.) Mr. Righteous made a few more comments regaling his opinion on her car not having been made in America (it's a Nissan) and insinuating she should not have a car that new. (You might think this was the worst thing that happened, but no, it gets worse.)
After being seated in the backyard where Mr. and Mrs. Righteous have enjoyed and are continuing to enjoy several beers, the "inquisition" began. What are you going to college for, Mr. Righteous asked. To be a history teacher, Morganne replied. When will women ever realize they are not an important part of history, Mr. Righteous questioned. Mrs. Righteous then took over stating that teachers do not make enough money to raise their children. They asked how many children she wants. At this point she doesn't even know IF she wants children so she said something like "I don't know, 2, 1, 0?" Then came the questions on religion. She told them she was a Nazarene. In their opinion, being a Nazarene is not nearly as "right" as being a Southern Baptist. Not sure on the current standards for Southern Baptists, but in the 30+ years I was one, I seem to remember that drinking alcohol is frowned upon. Now, to clarify, Nazarenes don't condone drinking either. I don't judge people on their alcohol status and I actually have been known to drink from the alcohol well myself now and then. Something I did learn from my Baptist upbringing is "judge not, lest ye be judged..." Or "for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged." Actually the Nazarenes and the Southern Baptists share almost all similar beliefs. I am not criticizing Southern Baptists and may at some point convert back someday. While I am not judging them on their alcohol intake or their beliefs as Southern Baptists, I am merely saying maybe their alcohol intake or state of soberness had something to do with their classless questioning and lack of inhibition on questioning an 18 year old girl.
But back to the questioning, "how many boys have you dated? Are you a virgin?" (What kind of person would even ask that? In this situation, you know the answer you are going to get. You will get a resounding "yes." It will either be the truth or a lie, but you won't know either way so you'll just assume they are lying. So other than for the purpose of making everyone uncomfortable, why ask?) After several more questions regarding views on abortion, gay marriage, interracial marriage, and having friends of other races, Mrs. Righteous called John into the kitchen feigning she needed his "help." Morganne excused herself to use the restroom. While in the restroom she overheard Mrs. Righteous telling John that Morganne was obviously a "wh***" and not right for him. John tried to defend Morganne for awhile, but Mrs. Righteous in her all-knowing state of infinite wisdom was unrelenting.
Morganne left the bathroom and joined the Righteous's again. She lied and told them she had received a phone call from her mother and had to go home. She arrived home embarrassed and upset.
As a mother, I spent several sleepless hours that night thinking inappropriate thoughts about things I would like to to do those people -- illegal, immoral, painful things that are definitely sins whether you're Southern Baptist or Nazarene. I then thought of some less evil, but still sinful things like spraying their entire sodded yard with Roundup. In the end though, I decided to move on and learn from the experience and encourage Morganne to do the same. Instead of being angry, I pity poor Mr. and Mrs. Righteous. They are helicopter parents - they "fly" in and "rescue" because they think poor little 20 year old John is not smart enough or capable enough to figure things out on his own or make good decisions. They have not given him the skills he will need to function in the world and he will pick up the tab for that upbringing throughout much of his life. I prefer to raise my children a different way. To quote one of my favorite parenting experts, Dr. Charles Fay, when my children are out making decisions on their own, I want them to say "I recognize this world. We practiced for it at home."
Thanks for reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment