Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Food Court

Monday the children and I went to the Northpark Mall in Joplin, Missouri. I don't like the mall there and I don't like going to Joplin or for that matter Missouri in general, but Macy (middle child) wanted to go to a "Macy's" store and we don't have one in Northwest Arkansas.

 We ate lunch in the food court. We (and many other mall patrons eating lunch in the food court) chose Chick Fil A. It seems despite the recent media saga involving them, people still like their food.  I support Chick Fil A's right to stand up for what they believe is right despite the risk of losing customers. No matter what your view of the gay marriage debate is, if you've ever visited Chick Fil A - a restaurant that is closed on Sundays, has a big story on their wall about Christian marriage retreats, and gives out character building books and videos in their kid's meals- you should know what their position on this issue would be. Shock and outrage toward Chick Fil A is moronic. It's a lot like picking up a snake and then acting shocked and outraged when said snake bites you. You knew what it was when you picked it up. But the "media" took over and created havoc and mass chaos out of something simple  we already knew the answer to anyway.  I imagine the "media" is sitting back laughing at us right now over what they have created and how easily we are swayed.  Chick Fil A is having a gazillion dollar day today in sales and people are protesting on top of it.  It's the perfect storm!  Members of the media are probably humorously remembering the time they created havoc and chaos over the gay rights parades at Disney parks and how people were going to boycott Disney - their parks, their movies, their books.  That lasted about as long as it was convenient for people to boycott these things and then it was over.  No one seems to be boycotting any of it anymore and I predict the same will happen with the CFA saga. In the end great theme parks, movies, books and chicken sandwiches with waffle fries will win because people don't like to sacrifice what they like.

Other things I noticed during my lunchtime mall musings were two young women who appeared to be no stranger to the crack pipe with several children who weren't wearing shoes, a girl with a very large baby drinking a bottle, and the Greek restaurant.  The Greek restaurant stood out because while every other establishment in the food court had at least a couple of patrons during our visit "Greek in the Box" had no customers - well except for the one girl who asked for a fork because Chick Fil A had forgotten to give her one and she didn't want to go wait in their long line again.  I felt empathy toward the poor girl working at Greek in the Box.   Not enough empathy to go over and order some hummus or a gyro or something wrapped in grape leaves, (I hate that type of food) but enough that I have thought about her and that restaurant several times since lunch.She and her Greek restaurant were being excluded from the fast paced lunch-life in the mall food court.  Someone should do something about this.  Greek in the Box should not be excluded!  The Greeks deserve a presence in the chaos that is lunch at the mall.  It's unfair that people will line up at the Mexican place or Great American Cookie, but not even glance at Greek in the Box.

 I don't know specifically why people don't like the Greek food served in the mall.  Maybe it's nasty, maybe it's overpriced or their service is bad or perhaps there's some other reason. However,  I do know if this was a typical day for Greek in the Box,  unless the restaurant is serving another underlying purpose like a front business for drugs or the mafia or purely designed to lose money for taxes or something, they will likely have to close soon.

Thinking of Greek in the Box and exclusion and media propaganda made me think of other media propaganda, specifically the constant media stories about the rampant bullying problem in the schools of today.  Of course, it's not all propaganda.  There are definite cases of torrential and horrendous bullying that do occur and I'm not trying to minimize any of that or say bullying is ok in any way.   But what I do see happening is well meaning parents who see some of these stories and out of the purest of intentions and genuine love for their child, decide their child is being bullied.

As a school counselor, I often receive calls from parents who want to report their child being bullied.  Often their call to me comes as the result of their child getting "in trouble" for something.  You never know for sure, but I get suspicious at times because I know my own children and I know when they get in trouble, if you ask them about the behavioral issues they had at school, you will likely get a story about how it was really someone else's fault.  This is a defense mechanism on the part of the child and I realize this, but some parents don't - probably because the media has told them they are losers because they work and do not spend enough time with their children. As a defense mechanism on the parent's part, they start to blame the school and other children because their child says they hate school.  Unfortunately, they don't realize the child does fine at school and is merely  saying they hate school because they got so much parental attention from the playing of the "it was someone else's fault, I'm being bullied" card earlier.

One of my least favorite and hardest types of  bullying to deal with is "bullying by exclusion" like one could perceive is happening at Greek in the Box.  Experts way more educated on this topic than I would disagree, but mostly I don't believe "bullying by exclusion" is bullying.  It is human nature to choose who you want to be with and who you want to stay away from during free time. Being excluded from play is unpleasant for sure, but if you watch long enough, you will generally be able to figure out why the excluded child is excluded.  Some examples I have seen are chronic behaviors like hitting, kicking, pinching, biting, burping in other's faces, throwing "boogers" on others, name calling, tattling, spreading rumors, licking others, the list goes on and on.  There is really no resolution to this problem other than for the excluded child to change his or her behavior or personality.  I see this as one of my most important and challenging roles as a school counselor to try to help these kids overcome some of their irritating habits.  Habit changing is a difficult thing though to say the least.

Tomorrow my summer break is over and I go back to work.  Although I dread giving up all my free time, it will be good for me to go back to a stricter schedule with more mentally challenging tasks.  Of course some of my duties as a domestic goddess this summer have been mentally challenging, but I'm better off as a worker rather than staying home.  Oh my gosh, that just made me think of another debate the media loves to propagate - the stay at home versus working mother debate.  Uh-oh, now I'm feeling all shamed and guilty.  Guess I better go build a gingerbread house with the kids.

Thanks for reading.



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