Mi Abuela

I lost my grandmother 5 years ago today on August 17, 2007.  She had a stroke on August 15.  They took her to the hospital and put her on life support, but brain scans showed she had no brain function so they disconnected her from life support and she lived for two more days.  I was not there at the time she actually passed, but neither was she, really.  For all practical purposes she departed this life on August 15.  She was 92 at the time.  She would have been 93 if she had lived 7 more days.

I miss my grandmother and I think about her daily.  She was the stay at home mother of 5 daughters and the wife of a rural mail carrier.  She was a tiny little woman with the most beautiful white hair.  You might think a person like that would not have much in the way of wisdom to impart, but she lived through a lot - The Great Depression, WWII, delivering 5 children (some of them at home; all without pain relief.) She taught me some very important lessons in my life.  Below are a few.

• People will visit - you should make food.  If you were privileged enough to dine at Pauline Shanklin's table, you know what I'm talking about.  She was a fabulous cook.  She cooked I guess what you would call "country" food.  There was always homemade bread or rolls and homemade cinnamon rolls with this icing she made from leftover coffee and powdered sugar and I don't know what else, but it was divine and I have yet to eat a cinnamon roll as good as hers.  In fact, when she had the stroke that day, she was in the middle of taking a pan of homemade rolls she had made out of the oven and she just fell over dropping the rolls and all.  She had made them for my mother to eat on her daily visit to her apartment where she lived alone with no assistance.  Occasionally she would make homemade biscuits instead of rolls, but you should never call a roll a biscuit or vice versa because they are 2 totally different things and she would tell you just that if you asked for a biscuit when rolls were being served.  I lived my entire life thinking what a gracious hostess she was, and she was.  It was only recently while mumbling a lot of bad words out of frustration during creation of a large spread of food for a bunch of people that I realized there had to be times when she was tired or didn't want to cook and wanted to tell everyone to go eat some cereal, but she never expressed it.  To quote a line from a country song, she was like a "...Sunday morning full of grace and full of Jesus."  (Lee Brice, Hard to Love)
• Going to church does not make you a Christian, but you should go anyway.  When I see that little thing people put on Facebook all the time that says something like "going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in the garage makes you a car" I get a little irritated.  Of course going to church does not make you a Christian, but what does that have to do with standing in a garage?  I understand the premise of the little saying, but what I'm saying is that if you are a Christian anyway and that is why you are going to church, you are probably going to get better at it if you go to church than if you don't. If you're just pretending about the whole thing, you probably have other issues on which you should work.  I realize there are people who attend church with ulterior motives.  I guess that's a problem.  But are there people standing in garages thinking they will become cars?  That would be an even bigger problem.  Anyway, Grandma always expected us to be in church and she was always in church.  Having grown up that way, I get disappointed in myself when I miss church -which I've done a lot of lately.  Perhaps it's guilt, but it can't be all bad to feel that way.
• Women, girls, females, they will never stop gossiping and being petty, but you should stop.  I remember a story Grandma told my sister-in-law.  She must have been about 85 at the time (grandma - not sister-in-law) But my sister-in-law was complaining about some girls she worked with talking behind her back and being petty and mean.  Grandma told her that no matter how old you get it never stops and that very day some ladies in her Sunday School class were gossiping and talking about another lady who was not present at the time. This was surprising to me.  I guess I assumed there was a time we would all "age out" of the pettiness and ugliness system but there's not I guess.

There is so much more that I miss about her, but I'll save it for another time.  Of course I wish I could have seen her and talked to her just one more time before she died, but she knew I loved her and I know she loved me.

Thanks for reading.

Happy National Left Handers Day

Depending on where you get your statistic, somewhere between 10 and 20% of the population is left handed. I am in that percentage. Sometimes when I sign something in front of someone, they will comment "Oh, you are left handed. My (insert type of relative here) is left handed." I say "Oh, that's good." Then I add (mostly to irritate them) "My husband is left handed too." Then they say, "Are your kids left handed?" At this point in the conversation I bore them with a few facts on the tendency to be left handed. Included in this little rant of mine is the fact that being left handed is only partly hereditary, partly due to environment, and partly due to unknown factors. Randomly, there is a one in ten chance that any human being will be left handed. If both parents are left handed, the chance increases to somewhere around one in four. I have three children, all from the same two left handed parents and all my children are right handed. Maybe if I had one more child, he or she would be left handed, but I don't want to know that badly!

There are more factors that play into this left handed equation like the age of the mother at the birth of the child (older mothers are more likely to have left handed children.) Infants who undergo a stressful birth or extremely low birth weight infants are more likely to be left handed. Babies who have been sonogrammed more times before birth  are more likely to be left handed. The way the world is mostly designed for right-handed people and the concessions left handed people make to operate in the world may be contributing factors as well. For example, how often do you see a left handed person operating a computer mouse with their dominant hand? My guess is not very often. We learn to use the mouse with our right hand out of necessity and practicality. There are left handed scissors, left handed golf clubs, left handed guitars, and many other left handed objects, but many times lefties just accommodate the righties possibly out of necessity or possibly due to our incredibly accommodating personalities and our higher than average IQ's. Just kidding!

Personally I use my right hand to do a lot of things. I cut right handed. I throw equally as bad using either my right or left hand.

For me, the biggest challenges with being left handed have to do with writing. People assume because I am left handed, my handwriting is bad. I'm not very fast with writing but I've worked very hard to make it legible and I actually have been told my handwriting is beautiful. Another challenge is because I turn my hand when I write, the back of my hand goes back over what I have written causing ink marks on the back of my hand that people often confuse for bruises. 

Besides the fact that most of us hate spiral notebooks, here are some other interesting facts about left-handers.

• Left-handed people are more likely to be schizophrenic, alcoholic, delinguent, dyslexic, and stutterers.
• People with neurological disorders such as Down's syndrome or autism tend to be left handed. 
• Left handed people are more likely to have Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis than right handed people. 
• Males are twice as likely as females to be left handed. 
• Left handed male college graduates on average earn 26% more money than right handed male college graduates. 
• The right hand is mentioned 100 times in the Bible, all in positive reference. The left is mentioned only 25, all negative. 
• Lefties live on average 9 years less than righties. 
• Lefties reach puberty 4 to 5 months later than righties on average. 
• Southpaws are more likely to have asthma, allergies, and migraines. 
• Left handers are 39% more likely to be homosexual. 
• Recovery from strokes tends to be faster for left handed people. 
• Lefties adjust to seeing underwater quicker. 
• We are more likely to be at extreme poles on the intelligence scale.

August 13 is "National Left Handers Day." So friends, if you are lucky enough to be a lefty, celebrate yourself today, or not, but do remember statistically you will have on average 3,287.25 fewer days to celebrate than your right handed buddies so you might as well make the days you have great ones.


Thanks for reading.

The Food Court

Monday the children and I went to the Northpark Mall in Joplin, Missouri. I don't like the mall there and I don't like going to Joplin or for that matter Missouri in general, but Macy (middle child) wanted to go to a "Macy's" store and we don't have one in Northwest Arkansas.

 We ate lunch in the food court. We (and many other mall patrons eating lunch in the food court) chose Chick Fil A. It seems despite the recent media saga involving them, people still like their food.  I support Chick Fil A's right to stand up for what they believe is right despite the risk of losing customers. No matter what your view of the gay marriage debate is, if you've ever visited Chick Fil A - a restaurant that is closed on Sundays, has a big story on their wall about Christian marriage retreats, and gives out character building books and videos in their kid's meals- you should know what their position on this issue would be. Shock and outrage toward Chick Fil A is moronic. It's a lot like picking up a snake and then acting shocked and outraged when said snake bites you. You knew what it was when you picked it up. But the "media" took over and created havoc and mass chaos out of something simple  we already knew the answer to anyway.  I imagine the "media" is sitting back laughing at us right now over what they have created and how easily we are swayed.  Chick Fil A is having a gazillion dollar day today in sales and people are protesting on top of it.  It's the perfect storm!  Members of the media are probably humorously remembering the time they created havoc and chaos over the gay rights parades at Disney parks and how people were going to boycott Disney - their parks, their movies, their books.  That lasted about as long as it was convenient for people to boycott these things and then it was over.  No one seems to be boycotting any of it anymore and I predict the same will happen with the CFA saga. In the end great theme parks, movies, books and chicken sandwiches with waffle fries will win because people don't like to sacrifice what they like.

Other things I noticed during my lunchtime mall musings were two young women who appeared to be no stranger to the crack pipe with several children who weren't wearing shoes, a girl with a very large baby drinking a bottle, and the Greek restaurant.  The Greek restaurant stood out because while every other establishment in the food court had at least a couple of patrons during our visit "Greek in the Box" had no customers - well except for the one girl who asked for a fork because Chick Fil A had forgotten to give her one and she didn't want to go wait in their long line again.  I felt empathy toward the poor girl working at Greek in the Box.   Not enough empathy to go over and order some hummus or a gyro or something wrapped in grape leaves, (I hate that type of food) but enough that I have thought about her and that restaurant several times since lunch.She and her Greek restaurant were being excluded from the fast paced lunch-life in the mall food court.  Someone should do something about this.  Greek in the Box should not be excluded!  The Greeks deserve a presence in the chaos that is lunch at the mall.  It's unfair that people will line up at the Mexican place or Great American Cookie, but not even glance at Greek in the Box.

 I don't know specifically why people don't like the Greek food served in the mall.  Maybe it's nasty, maybe it's overpriced or their service is bad or perhaps there's some other reason. However,  I do know if this was a typical day for Greek in the Box,  unless the restaurant is serving another underlying purpose like a front business for drugs or the mafia or purely designed to lose money for taxes or something, they will likely have to close soon.

Thinking of Greek in the Box and exclusion and media propaganda made me think of other media propaganda, specifically the constant media stories about the rampant bullying problem in the schools of today.  Of course, it's not all propaganda.  There are definite cases of torrential and horrendous bullying that do occur and I'm not trying to minimize any of that or say bullying is ok in any way.   But what I do see happening is well meaning parents who see some of these stories and out of the purest of intentions and genuine love for their child, decide their child is being bullied.

As a school counselor, I often receive calls from parents who want to report their child being bullied.  Often their call to me comes as the result of their child getting "in trouble" for something.  You never know for sure, but I get suspicious at times because I know my own children and I know when they get in trouble, if you ask them about the behavioral issues they had at school, you will likely get a story about how it was really someone else's fault.  This is a defense mechanism on the part of the child and I realize this, but some parents don't - probably because the media has told them they are losers because they work and do not spend enough time with their children. As a defense mechanism on the parent's part, they start to blame the school and other children because their child says they hate school.  Unfortunately, they don't realize the child does fine at school and is merely  saying they hate school because they got so much parental attention from the playing of the "it was someone else's fault, I'm being bullied" card earlier.

One of my least favorite and hardest types of  bullying to deal with is "bullying by exclusion" like one could perceive is happening at Greek in the Box.  Experts way more educated on this topic than I would disagree, but mostly I don't believe "bullying by exclusion" is bullying.  It is human nature to choose who you want to be with and who you want to stay away from during free time. Being excluded from play is unpleasant for sure, but if you watch long enough, you will generally be able to figure out why the excluded child is excluded.  Some examples I have seen are chronic behaviors like hitting, kicking, pinching, biting, burping in other's faces, throwing "boogers" on others, name calling, tattling, spreading rumors, licking others, the list goes on and on.  There is really no resolution to this problem other than for the excluded child to change his or her behavior or personality.  I see this as one of my most important and challenging roles as a school counselor to try to help these kids overcome some of their irritating habits.  Habit changing is a difficult thing though to say the least.

Tomorrow my summer break is over and I go back to work.  Although I dread giving up all my free time, it will be good for me to go back to a stricter schedule with more mentally challenging tasks.  Of course some of my duties as a domestic goddess this summer have been mentally challenging, but I'm better off as a worker rather than staying home.  Oh my gosh, that just made me think of another debate the media loves to propagate - the stay at home versus working mother debate.  Uh-oh, now I'm feeling all shamed and guilty.  Guess I better go build a gingerbread house with the kids.

Thanks for reading.

Please, Make It Look Like the Picture!

The other day I went to Taco Bell.  Hopefully, that does not disgust you.  But I love Taco Bell.  I like their food.  It's quick and easy and if you order the cheaper items off the menu and get water to drink, you can eat there pretty cheap.  Maris and I  ate for like 6 bucks this week.

While we were waiting in line, we were behind an older gentleman.  You could tell he is not the type that frequently visits taco bell.  He asked several questions about the menu.  The cashier who was taking his order had to seek help from the shift manager to answer some of his questions like what came on or with the particular items he was questioning.  He finally settled on ordering the number 1.  The number 1 is a burrito supreme, a taco supreme, and a drink. After ordering the number 1, he faced the dreaded question, "crunchy or soft" (referring to the taco.)  After asking a few more questions about crunchy versus soft, he placed his order for the soft.  After settling on his order, it took him awhile to pay.  He questioned the cost and then had to pull exact change out of several different pockets of his polyester leisure pants.   By the time he had finished paying for his order, his food was ready.  They called his number.  He stood there for a minute looking at the food and then said "this does not look like the picture."  They had to call the shift manager back to deal with him.  She turned around backward and leaned her bottom on the counter so that she could get herself into a position to actually look at the picture of the number 1 on the menu board.  After taking a gander at the picture, she said "well, sir, this is what you ordered.  This is the number 1 - a burrito supreme, taco supreme and a drink."  He smiled a "right- fighter" type of smile and had the shift manager actually walk around to the front of the counter to see that his food indeed did not look like the picture on the menu board.  Maris and I were just standing there waiting and I thought I could easily intervene and "help" these young Taco Bell workers with this explanation, but it was more fun to just watch.  Shift manager finally explained that she could not make it look like the picture because it was served in a wrapper and not on a plate as shown in the picture.  Polyester pants man said he wanted his served on a plate.  Shift manager said she was not allowed to serve it on a plate and began the turning of her shift manager key in the cash register to generate a refund for his Mexican shapes that sadly did not look like the picture.  She got the money out of the drawer and polyester pants man said "what are you doing? I don't want my money back.  I just want my food to look like the picture."  He finally just said "forget it" and took his shapes to a table and sat down to eat it, leaving his large drink cup behind.

Although polyester pants man should probably not eat at Taco Bell because he will never be happy, I think we've all had times of disappointment when our food did not look like the picture or something was not as we expected or anticipated it to be.  It happens in everything we do, big and small.  Makeup is the wrong color.  Sheets are not as soft as they should be.  Laundry detergent doesn't make the clothes smell as good as in the bottle. Clothes don't look as good as they did in the dressing room mirror. This baby cries more than I thought it would. The check was not as big as I thought.  It goes on and on.

One place I always find problems with my expectations being too high or service being too low is with people I hire to do labor or work on things.  Specifically, with my house or house projects in general.  Rusty, my husband, is a pretty handy man. I think he can fix or do just about anything, but occasionally things arise that are too labor intensive for the amount of time he has to do them.  We always end up getting disappointed with people we hire.  Usually they just quit showing up.  I know that may be hard for you to believe and probably never happens to you, but it's true. I think it's a curse or something, but it happens to us all the time.

We built a swimming pool in 2001. The guy got almost finished and just never came back leaving us (who had never dealt with a pool before) to figure out how to hook up the pump, heater, chlorinator, cleaner, etc. We remodeled our house in 2003. It was supposed to take 30 days to complete. After 120 days, the contractor just never came back. The house was so dirty and in such disarray, we weren't even able to live in it for about a month. That experience ended with the contractor filing a lawsuit against us because he did not receive his final payment. We counter-sued for his faulty construction and not completing the job. We settled it out of court with neither party receiving any payment (except the attorneys we both had to pay.) After 9 years, there are still things that are not finished or are not right with the remodel. But you live and learn and then move on.

This year we needed a bathroom finished in the upstairs bonus room that the 2003 contractor left incomplete. We called 3 different plumbers. They all gave about the same estimate of around $1000 for the project. One even went so far as to design a shower for the room, but then the day came and went for him to start the project and he never came and never called. That's been four months ago so my guess would be he's not coming back.

We are currently trying to do a quick remodel on a house that is for sale. We are trying to take a large open space and frame in some walls to turn the open space into 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and remodel a kitchen. We got a bunch of bids and settled on a company to do the framing, heat and air, electrical and plumbing. We signed a contract, paid a deposit, and they started on the project. It's looking really good, but Friday, for no apparent reason, they did not show up to work. We called the owner of the company and he was very apologetic and  assured us they will be working this weekend to catch up. I want to believe him, but am getting a touch of deja vu with the whole experience. I have to believe this project will work out. We were very careful this time to space his payments in the contract so that he has more labor, time, and money in the project at any given point then we have paid for. Hopefully that will provide an incentive for him to "make it look like the picture."

I guess what I can take from all these experiences is to focus on making what I do "look like the picture." If I say I am going to do something or things are going to be a certain way, I need to do everything I can to make sure what I do is indeed what I said I would do or as close as I can make it. I cannot be responsible for the behavior or actions of Taco Bell, swimming pool builders, contractors, plumbers, or anyone else, but I can be responsible to my own stakeholders for my own actions in my own endeavors.

I wish everything looked like the picture, but we all know sometimes thing won't. I'll close with words from the "Serenity Prayer" by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr,
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
Courage to change the things I can, 
And wisdom to know the difference."

Thanks for reading.

The Inquisition

My eldest child (Morganne, 18)  recently broke up with a boyfriend she had been dating for two months.  I support the breakup.  It was her decision totally, but I am glad she made the decision she did. As an outsider looking in, the two were just not right for each other at this time, in my opinion.

After the breakup, another boy (let's just call him "John" to protect his anonymity) began texting her and they mutually decided they would like to go out on a date. A few days before the date was scheduled to occur, John texted her at the last minute and asked if she would like to come to a barbecue at his house (he's 20 and lives with his parents.) She was without plans for the evening and decided to attend the barbecue. She was very excited at the prospect of meeting his parents. That's the kind of kid she is, she's a parent meeter. She started dating a little later than most (which is perfectly fine with me) and she always brings her male friends over to meet us after a date or two. We don't demand it, but of course, appreciate it. We've met a total of 3 boys.

Morganne arrived at the home of John and his parents (let's just call them Mr. and Mrs. Righteous.) Mr. Righteous immediately questioned her concerning the year model of her car. It's actually a 2011 - yes, my kid has a nearly new car. A lot of thought and consideration went into the purchase of that car, but in the end when the 1999 model car she was driving needed more work than it was actually worth, we opted for the purchase of the new car. Maybe I'll write another blog about that purchase someday, but for now, dear reader, please just without judgement accept that my daughter drives a 2011 car (for which she pays a portion of each month out of her earnings from her job she has had for 2.5 years at the movie theater where she is now a supervisor.) Mr. Righteous made a few more comments regaling his opinion on her car not having been made in America (it's a Nissan) and insinuating  she should not have a car that new. (You might think this was the worst thing that happened, but no, it gets worse.)

After being seated in the backyard where Mr. and Mrs. Righteous have enjoyed and are continuing to enjoy several beers, the "inquisition" began.  What are you going to college for, Mr. Righteous asked.  To be a history teacher, Morganne replied.  When will women ever realize they are not an important part of history, Mr. Righteous questioned.  Mrs. Righteous then took over stating that teachers do not make enough money to raise their children.  They asked how many children she wants.  At this point she doesn't even know IF she wants children so she said something like "I don't know, 2, 1, 0?"  Then came the questions on religion.  She told them she was a Nazarene.  In their opinion,  being a Nazarene is not nearly as "right" as being a Southern Baptist.  Not sure on the current standards for Southern Baptists, but in the 30+ years I was one, I seem to remember that drinking alcohol is frowned upon.  Now, to clarify, Nazarenes don't condone drinking either.  I don't judge people on their alcohol status and I actually have been known to drink from the alcohol well myself now and then.  Something I did learn from my Baptist upbringing is "judge not, lest ye be judged..."  Or "for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged."   Actually the Nazarenes and the Southern Baptists share almost all similar beliefs.  I am not criticizing Southern Baptists and may at some point convert back someday.  While I am not judging them on their alcohol intake or their beliefs as Southern Baptists, I am merely saying maybe their alcohol intake or state of soberness had something to do with their classless questioning and lack of inhibition on questioning an 18 year old girl.

But back to the questioning, "how many boys have you dated?  Are you a virgin?"  (What kind of person would even ask that?   In this situation, you know the answer you are going to get.  You will get a resounding "yes." It will either be the truth or a lie, but you won't know either way so you'll just assume they are lying. So other than for the purpose of making everyone uncomfortable, why ask?)  After several more questions regarding views on abortion, gay marriage, interracial marriage, and having friends of other races,  Mrs. Righteous called John into the kitchen feigning she needed his "help."  Morganne excused herself to use the restroom.  While in the restroom she overheard Mrs. Righteous telling John that Morganne was  obviously a "wh***" and not right for him.  John tried to defend Morganne for awhile, but Mrs. Righteous in her all-knowing state of infinite wisdom was unrelenting.

Morganne left the bathroom and joined the Righteous's again.  She lied and told them she had received a phone call from her mother and had to go home.  She arrived home embarrassed and upset.

As a mother, I spent several sleepless hours that night thinking inappropriate thoughts about things I would like to to do those people -- illegal, immoral, painful things that are definitely sins whether you're Southern Baptist or Nazarene.  I then thought of some less evil, but still sinful things like spraying their entire sodded yard with Roundup.  In the end though, I decided to move on and learn from the experience and encourage Morganne to do the same.  Instead of being angry, I  pity poor Mr. and Mrs. Righteous.  They are helicopter parents - they  "fly" in and "rescue" because they think poor little 20 year old John is not smart enough or capable enough to figure things out on his own or make good decisions.    They have not given him the skills he will need to function in the world and he will pick up the tab for that upbringing throughout much of his life.  I prefer to raise my children a different way.  To quote one of my favorite parenting experts, Dr.  Charles Fay, when my children are out making decisions on their own, I want them to say "I recognize this world.  We practiced for it at home."

Thanks for reading.

Just For Today

Ages ago (probably more than 20 years ago) I cut out a little non-rhyming poem from the newspaper.  It was in an advice column like "Dear Abby" or something.  I hung that little non-rhyming poem on my refrigerator and it's still there in all its  ugly yellowness and age, it is still there.  I still try to live my anxiety ridden life  by these words most days and I try to teach my children to live by similar character traits and patterns of thought.  It's not religious or non-religious.  It's not Christian or non-Christian...just common sense words to try to help you get through each day, not worry about tomorrow, and be as productive and kind as you can be.  It goes something like this (well exactly like this, actually.)


Just for today-----I will live through the next 12 hours and not try to tackle all of life's problems   at  once.
Just for today-----I will improve my mind. I will learn something useful. I will read something that requires thought          and concentration.
Just for today-----I will be agreeable. I will look my best, speak in a well-modulated voice, be courteous and considerate.
Just for today-----I will not find fault with friend, relative or colleague.  I will not try to change or improve anyone but myself.
Just for today-----I will do a good deed and keep it a secret.  If anyone finds out, it won't count.
Just for today-----I will have a program.  I might not follow it exactly, but I will have it.  I will save myself from two enemies: hurry & indecision.
Just for today-----I will do two things I don't want to do, just because I need the discipline.
Just for today-----I will believe in myself.  I will give my best to the world and feel confident that the world will give its best to me.
     
   -Anonymous-

Thanks for reading.

Red Dirt Road

I'm a country music fan.  I like some other kinds of music too, but if I were to download songs on my iPhone (which I never will because I'm too cheap - I prefer to think of it as "sensible" or perhaps "frugal") anyway, about 90% of the songs I would download would be country. To that end, there are a lot of country songs that bestow the accolades of dirt roads, gravel roads, or leaving the blacktop in general.  A couple of my favorites are Jason Aldean's "Dirt Road Anthem" and Brooks & Dunn's "Red Dirt Road."  Some of these songs may make you "wanna take a back road" (Rodney Atkins.)  Well, having lived on a dirt road for the last 12 years of my life, I'm here to tell you why you should just stay on the black top and drive as fast as you can past that dirt road calling your name.

 First, there is the cleanliness of your vehicle to consider.  About 95% of the time, your rig will be either muddy or dusty if you drive on that dirt road.  That gives you about 19 random days a year to sport a clean vehicle if you drive on the road every day.  Second, there is the damage the rocks and gravel will cause to your tires.  If you drive very often on a dirt road, you will get flat tires and you will wear your tires out sooner than you had planned.  Next, there seems to be a problem with some people thinking  dirt roads are actually free landfills for their trash.  Some of the items I've seen on the road include couches, love seats, chairs, mattresses, tires, beer cans, beer bottles, beer boxes, liquor bottles, used personal items made of latex, car batteries, car oil,  fast food trash, bags of garbage, and helpless puppies and kittens people were too irresponsible to take care of properly.  Additionally, there are some crazy or shall we just say "different" people who live on dirt roads (I ,of course, am not one of them) but I have found that some move to dirt road areas to do things or conduct business that is at least questionable in the eyes of the law.  I'm told there is one person on the road I live on that is convinced the government is spying on him and has collected an arsenal of weapons to protect himself.  I've personally seen the man walking his little Dachshund dog and I can't imagine the government would be interested in anything he is doing, but if having a lot of weapons makes him feel  happy or safe, who am I to question it?

If you just can't shake that dirt road fever and decide to go down one to find Jesus, drink beer, pick blackberries, throw a little gravel in your travel, or dump your trash, I have one more piece of advice.  Please watch your speed.  This will protect you from other drivers who are not watching their speed.  It's funny how on a dirt road the smoothest side on which to drive is never the side on the right.  Most people either drive down the left side or just make their own lane right down the middle. Several years ago one of these drivers hit the back end of my silver Suburban with his red truck because he was going very fast on the wrong side of the road on a curve.  He didn't stop, nor did he slow down, but I was able to jump out and get his tag number and a description of the vehicle.  I called the police and complained that he was driving too fast and he had hit me.  They said there was little they could do because unless there is a posted speed limit, the limit is 55 mph.  Additionally, the officer said, even though I had his tag number, it wouldn't be prudent to try to find him because all he would have to do is say he had not hit my suv and it would be his word against mine even though there was red paint on my Suburban.  I recommend a speed of less than 30 mph and driving on the rockier side with the most briers and brush hanging over -  this will always be the side on  your right.

Thanks for reading.

Panhandling

So do you give money to panhandlers?  Not even sure if that's the correct term, but I mean the people who stand on corners with signs usually saying something like "homeless vet...any amount will help...God bless."  I have given money at times, but I usually don't.  When I don't, I feel a little guilty like "here I am in my nice air conditioned car going somewhere usually involving spending money on something and all you have are the dirty clothes you are wearing and that sign made of cardboard."  I analyze this over and over.  Where will they sleep?  How are they so overweight if they don't have enough money for food and they walk everywhere?  Do they have children?  If I am lucky, the light turns green and I'm able to go and move on with my life without having to think much more than that.  I've been contemplating panhandling in general a lot since yesterday.  I swear I saw panhandlers on every exit of 540 I was on or passed by.  Most were the typical man or woman with the cardboard sign, but at one exit there was a different scene.  There was a young man and young woman (I would say mid twenties) standing with an older lady who was in a wheel chair.  The young woman appeared to be speaking in sign language to the older woman.  While the cardboard sign holders didn't appear to be getting much in the way of funding, this trio was raking it in.  I saw 3 different people give them money during the one red light.  I like to think I'm a glass half-full kind of girl, but I was a little skeptical of the trio and wondered if that was actually even real sign language she was speaking.  I try to give to those less fortunate when I can, but I think from now on I will not give to panhandlers.  I think resources are better utilized if they are channeled through agencies or at least organizations with standards.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I think panhandling should be not legal.  There should be ordinances in place to dissuade panhandling on public property possibly.    Maybe I would feel differently if I had ever been in the situation of these people.  You never know until you've walked in someone else's shoes they say.  However, I think it would take more self-confidence than I have to stand on a roadway and ask strangers for money.  I think I would try the Salvation Army or some other organization like that.  I don't think you'll ever see me on exit 85 with a cardboard sign.  Hopefully I won't see you there either.